Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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