Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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