All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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