Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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