The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
