guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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