i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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