My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
