Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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