i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
