I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
