lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
