Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
