One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
