you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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