WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
