Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
