dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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