we have pet lesbian snakes
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
