dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
