smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
