Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
