that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
