I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
