he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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