You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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