i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
