did you get engaged???
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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