How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
