May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
