Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
