I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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