i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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