god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
