is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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