Buhtt sex?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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