there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
