I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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