she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
