omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
