i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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