I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
