so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
