hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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