she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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