God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
