Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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