in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
