Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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