somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
