You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he fucked my hip out of place.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
