Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Randomize
